So Long Insecurity, Hello Confidence!

Our awesome Sunday School class.

When asked to teach an 8th grade Sunday School class last term, I tried to think back to myself at that age. Do you know what I remember?... I wrote a letter to myself in 8th grade and kept it in my diary for many years to come. Unfortunately, my old diaries didn't make the cut when packing for Africa or I could type it out for you, but here's the gist of the letter:

Dear Jill,

Try not to be so quiet and shy around people. Just be outgoing and friendly.  Don't worry if people think you're too skinny. Just keep exercising and be healthy. Spend time with the LORD everyday and then everything else will fall into place. By the way, I think you're great!

Love,

Jill :)

This eighth grade girl was desperate to have more confidence in herself! With that memory, I entitled my Sunday School class, "So Long Insecurity, Hello Confidence!"  and asked God, "How can I replace their insecurities with confidence in who You created them to be in 45 mins a week x 6 weeks? Especially when I still struggle with this very thing at age 34?!"

We started the class by showing this powerful and touching 3 minute video that hits close to home for most women. Click here to view it. Our opening point was:

Is it possible for 2 people to look at the same thing and see something totally different?  Is it possible that what we see in ourselves is not accurate... is not who we actually are?

Check out this Spiral Pinwheel Illusion. If we focus on the wrong thing long enough, then what is not true will appear to be true. (Is your skin actually crawling after staring at this illusion??)

So how do we know what is true? We must look to our Maker to tell us the Truth about ourselves.

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me... For You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  -Psalm 139:1, 13 

God's Word says that I am the righteousness of God. How can that be with all my sins and imperfections? I mean, I have my moments, but I cannot hardly describe myself as righteous.

God made him who had no sin [Jesus] to be sin for [me], so that in Him [Jesus] I might become the righteousness of God.   -2 Corinthians 5:21

This represents me on my own. Dirty and tainted by sin.

But Jesus washes away my sin and fills me with Himself. He makes me beautiful. 

 Jesus traded His worthiness for my unworthiness when He suffered on the cross for my sins. Now I am worthy, sinless, righteous, holy, and acceptable in God's eyes. He has freely given me the gift of infinite value and worth. But for some reason, rather than accept this gift, we choose to spend our lives striving to earn significance through our accomplishments and the approval of others.

There are 4 lies that Satan gets us to believe instead of God's truth: (taken from Search for Significance: Teen Edition (link) by Robert S. McGee

1. The Performance Trap - I must meet certain standards in order to feel good about  myself.

2. Approval Addict - I must be approved and accepted by certain people in my life to feel good about myself.

3. Blame and Condemnation - Those who fail (including me) are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.

4. Shame - I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.


On our last day together, each girl got to choose one of the gifts I had brought, white elephant style. The last one was surprised to find a 1,000 Shilling note in her gift bag (about $12 USD) . I had freely given her this gift, but to make a point I asked her if she would be willing to burn it.

Burning her free gift, equivalent to $12 USD.

She agreed, and I got the shock value I was looking for!

We ended our time together with another activity. Spread out around the house were sets of opposing "I am..." statements. We played worship music in the background and took our time going to each station and choosing the statement that we believe and putting it in our gift bag. The other statement had to go into our brown trash bag. There's an obvious "right Sunday School" answer in each pair, but we had to answer based on which statement we believe in our hearts, if we're honest with ourselves. Here are the pairs: (here is a PDF version you can print out if you'd like.)

I am wonderfully made.

I praise You, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14

I am made up of mostly flaws and mistakes.

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I am God’s masterpiece.

We are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus... –Eph. 2:10

God didn’t make me as good as others.

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I am valuable.

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. –Rom. 5:8

I must prove my worth by earning the approval of others and performing well.

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I am beautiful.

Let the King be enthralled by your beauty. –Psalm 45:11

I need a sexy body, nice clothes, unblemished skin, pretty hair, make-up, etc… to be beautiful.

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I am cherished.

He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. –Zephaniah 3:17

No one cherishes me.

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I am a princess.

I [the King of Glory] will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty. -2 Cor. 6:18

I am ordinary, not really special in any way.

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I am precious, honored, and desired.

Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life. –Isaiah 43:4

I am undesirable.

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I am loved completely.

I pray that you...may have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.  –Eph. 3:18-19

No one Really understands or loves me.

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I am accepted.

God has made us accepted in the beloved. –Eph. 1:6

I am not good enough.

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I am created to fulfill a specific purpose.

For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. –Eph. 2:10

I have no real purpose in life.

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I guess we were honest, because at the end of the exercise, each one of us had chosen some lies to keep in our gift bag, which meant their corresponding truths ended up in our trash bag. I had the girls take turns burning their trash bags and all it's contents. While we did this, I explained how God has given valuable gifts to His daughters, yet we make the choice to reject them in exchange for a lie from Satan that makes us feel worthless. What a waste!! 

God has given us everything that we need to live abundant and confident lives, knowing full well who we are in Him. It is our choice whether we choose to accept His gifts and live confident, secure lives or to reject them and live lives filled with insecurities. 

I pray that God's truth sunk a little deeper into our hearts during our time together. 

Either way, I was blessed by our time seeking God's truth together.