Confessions of a Missionary -#3

Preparing for missions isn't just about raising support and taking missions classes. The greatest preparation is (or at least should be) taking place in our hearts. I used to have this preconceived notion that missionaries are more spiritual than most or that they have it all together. They certainly don't struggle with sin in their life!


Well, since being appointed as missionaries, we can now confidently assure you that none of that is true! And to prove it, I'm going to be a little vulnerable and put my sinful heart out there for you to see. Why? To encourage you that we are all struggling along this life journey together and hopefully to share in the victories that God WILL bring along our journeys. And, lastly, to keep this new missionary humble!

October 25, 2011

I had a break through last night!

I had just had this emotional experience, which was challenging, BUT I felt this deep sense that God was with me. I was trying to describe it to Michael.

"I feel like God is with me. I feel His comfort. His protection. His love.
I feel like I'm good enough."

"Good enough for what?" asks Michael.

"I just feel like I'm good enough."

I start crying a little and Michael suggests, "Maybe that's your core fear" (something I've been trying to figure out lately.)

I nod and agree, crying harder now.

So, that's the break through! I can finally pinpoint a long-time struggle in my life. From the outside it looks like I'm driven and motivated. The truth is, I strive like crazy to prove to myself and to others that I'm good enough. I seek affirmation from others and feel hurt, disappointed, and even frustrated when I don't get what I'm looking for from them.

It doesn't matter what others think of me or even what I think of myself, for that matter.

The truth is... I am good enough, just as I am.

In all my wretched sin and imperfections, Christ considered me good enough to give up His life for. What a blessed truth! How freeing! I am free to enjoy my walk with Christ, apart from the burden of constantly striving to prove myself!

Of course, I hope that with God's grace and power working in me I will continue to grow and mature in godliness, as a wife, as a mother, as a friend, as a missionary, as a home manager, etc...

But the beautiful truth I can rest in is that even if, for some reason, I never grow or mature past this point...

I'm good enough!

I always have been.
I always will be.
Jesus says so.

"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:5,8)

Confessions of a Missionary -#2

Preparing for missions isn't just about raising support and taking missions classes. The greatest preparation is (or at least should be) taking place in our hearts. I used to have this preconceived notion that missionaries are more spiritual than most or that they have it all together. They certainly don't struggle with sin in their life!


Well, since being appointed as missionaries, we can now confidently assure you that none of that is true! And to prove it, I'm going to be a little vulnerable and put my sinful heart out there for you to see. Why? To encourage you that we are all struggling along this life journey together and hopefully to share in the victories that God WILL bring along our journeys. And, lastly, to keep this new missionary humble!

September 10, 2011

Finally. My very own blog. The opportunity I've been waiting for to share my ideas... my wisdom with the world. You lucky readers! Your lives will never be the same!

Barf.

Do you notice a recurring theme in that paragraph? Me... My... I... My...
It sounds as if I want this blog to be all about MY ideas and for MY glory.

Confession time.

LORD, you know better than anyone (myself included) that I feel this need to prove my worth to others. That I feed off of others' approval of me.

My great and jealous God. You will have no other gods in Your place. (Exodus 20:3). You will allow none to take from Your Glory.

Thank You for allowing me to see the sinful motivations of my heart.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?
I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what His deeds deserve." (Jeremiah 17:9-10)

Sweet Jesus, this blog is for YOU and for YOUR Glory.
This missions work in Africa is for YOU and for YOUR Glory.
This life is for YOU and for YOUR Glory.

[You] must become greater; I must become less." (John 3:30)

Confessions of a Missionary -#1

 Preparing for missions isn't just about raising support and taking missions classes. The greatest preparation is (or at least should be) taking place in our hearts. I used to have this preconceived notion that missionaries are more spiritual than most or that they have it all together. They certainly don't struggle with sin in their life!


Well, since being appointed as missionaries, we can now confidently assure you that none of that is true! And to prove it, I'm going to be a little vulnerable and put my sinful heart out there for you to see. Why? To encourage you that we are all struggling along this life journey together and hopefully to share in the victories that God WILL bring along our journeys. And, lastly, to keep this new missionary humble!

September 10, 2011

God doesn't care what color or font we use on our website. He doesn't care which family picture we post.

He cares about our hearts. About a deep, growing relationship with Him.

Confession time.

Which do you think has been occupying the majority of my thoughts and time lately?
...You guessed it.

My LORD, please forgive me for losing sight of what matters most to You.

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10)

Father, You are the vine; I am a branch. If I remain in You, I will bear much fruit; apart from You, I can do nothing. (John 15:5)

Thank You for reminding me in Your Word,
"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit -fruit that will last." (John 15:16)

LORD, I am unworthy of Your calling. I have nothing good to offer in and of myself, except that which You have given me. But, LORD, I am willing and eager. If You can...if You will, use me to accomplish Your purposes here on Earth that Your Holy Name may be glorified among all men.

Amen.

A True Account of an RVA student

I wanted to get a student's story, a student's perspective, during my visit to RVA ...just for my own understanding of the ministry we are about to enter. I am thankful to have had the privilege of speaking with an outstanding Senior girl on the last day of my visit. I was so blessed and enlightened by what she shared that I now want to share it with you!


For the protection of her family, I can not use my new friend's real name, so I will call her "Penelope..."  Okay, how about "Anna"?


Twenty-five years ago, Anna's parents moved to a small village in the middle of the bush in Eastern Kenya that had no electricity, no running water, no internet, no phone... and was a 12 hour drive to the city, where they could purchase groceries. Why? Because they felt called by God to minister to the Muslim people in this village and so they willingly made the sacrifice.


Anna and her 3 siblings were raised in this village. They consider it home and consider these Muslim people their family. Anna's mother is a registered nurse and works day and night to serve the people in their village. Because of cultural differences, she is not able to carve out and protect "school time" to properly home school her children. Alternatively, they were schooled by American teachers who would volunteer 1-2 years at a time and serve this missionary family by teaching their children.


Unlike American culture, every Muslim child is not allowed the opportunity for an education. Traditionally, once a Muslim child reaches the age of five, the father decides his child's fate:
1. To stay at home to work (typical fate of the first born female),
2. To become a herdsman, or
3. to attend school


Kenyan law (loosely) requires students to complete eighth grade; at which point the students take a test to determine whether they will go on to secondary school (boarding). In this particular village, the girls typically marry anywhere between the ages of 12-18. It is not unusual for a man to have 2 or 3 wives and for each wife to bear 10-12 kids! A little different than what we are used to! :) Anna told me,

 "I don't view this as my parents' mission,

but as MY mission, too."

Following in her mother's footsteps, she aspires to earn a medical degree in America and then return to Africa to minister to Muslims, a culture she already knows. (Sidenote: I am learning that many missionary kids (MK's) grow up to become missionaries themselves! Very cool!)

We all know that medical programs in the States are competitive. Her parents had to choose which of four educational options would best equip Anna for her God-designed future and suit their family.
         Option 1: Continue to home school with limited resources for computer and science lab work.
         Option 2: Send her a world away to attend boarding school in the States.
         Option 3: Leave the mission field and their home and move back to the States so Anna could get an American education.
         Option 4: Send her to RVA which is in their same country (Kenya) and offers a great education and preparation for university and medical school.


We already know which one they chose. While not denying that it was a challenging transition at first (including culture shock), Anna claims that she has loved her experience at RVA and is so thankful her parents chose RVA for her education. She has enjoyed and taken full advantage of the opportunities there to learn, to play sports, and to interact with other cultures, becoming more diverse herself. She is currently applying to several ivy league schools in the States and I have no doubt that God is going to use her in mighty ways to share His love and expand His Kingdom.


I'll leave you with something she said that was very challenging and convicting to me.

Islam is a lifestyle... its own culture. You will know a Muslim by the way they live.

I wish Christianity was more like that.

Food for thought from a Senior missionary kid at RVA.

We stand in awe of the ocean

The thunderstorm,

The sunset,

The mountains;

But we pass by

A human being

Without notice

Even though

The person

Is God's most

Magnificent

Creation.

-Augustine

God speaking- Jill's trip to Kenya

"When we see the differences of others, we may well be seeing more of God. He cannot be contained in or explained from only one cultural perspective. Thus, culture shock may be a means whereby we see God more clearly in all His glorious diversity."

(taken from Cross-Cultural Connections by Duane Elmer) 

I read this quote in one of my required reading books on the plane ride here and it has been the perfect perspective for me as I try to take in this new culture we may be coming to live in.


I feel like my understanding of who God is is expanding as I am exposed to new aspects of His beauty in the different animal life, plant life, language, traditions, and people groups.


This morning, my Bible study teacher quoted during the lecture:

There are around 256 names for God in the Bible...   He's infinitely beyond what one name can express.

Thank You, LORD, for revealing more of yourself to me. Please help us all to see you more clearly in all Your glorious diversity.

Some Perspective

My trip to Kenya is already coming to an end. I have spent the past week observing, experiencing, and asking lots of questions.

Here are some comparisons I have made in my time here. These are, indeed, broad generalizations and are not intended to offend Americans, just to give some perspective. (With that disclaimer... :)

-We (Americans) complain about an hour long commute in our comfortable climate-controlled cars.

-They (Kenyans) WALK, rain or shine, in their flimsy shoes an hour to and from work each day.

-We get annoyed if our shower takes a couple of minutes to get hot.

-They buy and fetch water so their whole family can bathe in it.

-We wish we had more space in our 3-bedroom homes.

-Their whole entire family lives in a house as big as my master bedroom.

-Our kids own 50 different toys (and we buy them more.)

-Their kids don’t even have a ball they can play football (soccer) with.

-We complain that our office isn’t big enough.

-My Kenyan friend’s tailor “shop” consists of a tarp for a roof, his sewing machine and a Tupperware container.

-We are disappointed when the produce at the grocery store is looking a couple of days old.

-They can’t eat the crops they are growing because they don’t have enough water to keep them alive.

-We don’t give much above 10% of our income because we can’t “afford” to.

-They give sacrificially even though their children don’t have shoes on their feet.

Again, my intent is not to attack or offend Americas. It is simply:

1.    To draw attention to the stark differences between the way we live in America and the way they live in Kenya.

2.    To give some perspective.

3.    To challenge us to be thankful for the comforts and luxuries we enjoy.

4.    To ponder how we can lessen the gap between how much we have and how little they have.

Jill's trip to Kenya

I am writing this post from the home of Michael's aunt and uncle at Rift Valley Academy (RVA) in Kijabe Kenya! They have been serving here at RVA for over 20 years! They are the ones who are largely responsible for us coming out to RVA, as they first started recruiting us when we were engaged 9 years ago!


And here I sit in their home in Kenya, checking out the campus (and the continent for that matter) as an appointed missionary with Africa Inland Mission (AIM) to come serve full-time at RVA! I can barely wrap my mind around it! (I just realized that I have ended every sentence so far with an exclamation mark :) )


Over a year ago, Michael and I talked to our former church in Raleigh, North Carolina, Providence Baptist Church, about our interest in serving in Africa and asked them if they would consider supporting us. The missions pastor strongly emphasized the importance of going to check out a place before moving there full-time and offered to buy my ticket! Too bad Michael had visited with his grandparents when he was 16, so he missed out on the free ticket deal! :)


Here is the progression of my thoughts and feelings about RVA to date:


1.) Pre-trip: I was feeling pretty confident that God was calling us to RVA and trusting Him and Michael's family members who had been to RVA and assured me that we'd be great here.


2.) Early into trip: I kept singing the song from "Annie"... "I think I'm gonna like it here." But I was also feeling a little apprehensive about the realities of living in Africa.


3.) Mid-trip: (present) We were made to be here... It would be really hard for me to stay in the states after seeing what God has for us out here, even knowing the challenges we will face.


4.) Post-trip:  stay tuned...

Just The Facts -Short and Sweet

Who we are:  Just an ordinary American family -Michael & Jillian Wills and our kids Noah (6), Madison (4), and Tyler (2)

Where we're going:   Rift Valley Academy (RVA) in Kijabe, Kenya (Africa)


When:  We are aiming to depart in July 2012 and are committing to a 4-year term, possibly longer.


Why: To use our gifts to serve the greater mission of bringing the light of Jesus to the ends of the earth.


What we will be doing: Teaching and discipling kids of missionaries serving all over Africa as well as serving the African community around us.


How you can be a part: Partner with us! This is a group effort. We are but one link in the chain.

More about RVA- the school we'll be serving at

RVA is a Christian boarding school located in central Kenya. The academy, a branch of Africa Inland Mission International, exists to provide a quality education in a nurturing environment for the children of missionaries serving in Africa. 

With over 100 years of rich history, RVA has played an instrumental role in the lives of countless MKs (missionary kids). The current student body of about 490 includes more than 20 different nationalities. 


The families these students represent serve with 80 mission organizations in over 20 African countries!!


Here are some pictures of the campus from my recent visit there.

Here are some of the high school...

This is the biology lab (where Michael may be teaching?)

This is the metal tree where the students hang their mugs.

At 10am everyday, the whole student body gets to come outside, grab their mug off the tree and enjoy their chai break.

The girls basketball team praying before the game against a Kenyan boarding school in Nairobi (the capital city of Kenya... over an hours drive away).

And here's some of "Titchie," the elementary school...

Don't you love all the different flags? :)

Michael's Aunt Carolyn has so much fun in her first grade classroom!

The fun outer walls where evidently the kids park their bikes.